29 Weeks & Counting
I can't believe I'm almost 30 weeks along. Ten more to go seems like nothing! Last night when I woke up at 4 a.m. and couldn't go back to sleep for an hour, I was contemplating my experience being pregnant. Here are some thoughts.
At the risk of sounding too happy-go-lucky — I can honestly say I have loved being pregnant. Really. It has been such an exciting, fascinating and happy experience.
Physically, I have felt great and I think it's fun to have a little belly.
One of my favorite things is feeling my little girl move and imagining her little body squirming around. I am so excited to see what she looks like! Is it weird that I am really excited to squish her thighs? I just think baby legs are so cute.
But amidst the fun of pregnancy and anticipation about our baby, I haven't gone without a few emotional breakdowns — especially in my 3rd trimester. Here some things that have gotten me down from time to time.
Sometimes I am just overwhelmed by the prospect of being a good mother in addition to the good wife I am trying to be. I already make mistakes in that area, and know I'll make more as a mom.
Sometimes I worry that I will have to go through the hard things I've seen others go through as parents — like my own strong mom has. I can't imagine the pain of losing a first child (or any child, at that) or suffering the effects of a difficult divorce.
Most of all, I worry about my girl growing up and us not being close — or her not liking me or thinking I am just the lame mom she got stuck with.
It sounds obvious, but what helps me the most when those thoughts come into my mind (often inconveniently in the wee hours of the morning) is to replace them with positive, confident self-affirmations. To remember that my role as a mother was cut out for me long ago. Heavenly Father trusts me to be a mother. And he doesn't only trust that I'll scrape by — he believes I will succeed at it. And how could I be scared when He and my amazing husband are on my side?
Romans 8:31:
What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can a be against us?
Forgive me for spilling my emotions ... and thanks for hearing me out if you read this far!
8 comments:
the fact that you even CARE to contemplate those things shows what a great mom you will be. you obviously have so much love for her and you haven't even met her yet. even though you may make a few mistakes (because we all do), the fact that you love your baby and have a strong desire to be a good mom.... you have little to worry about. you are going to be amazing!
Ditto to what Dayna said. The fact that you are worrying over such important things already proves that you are going to be a fantastic mom. I can't even tell you how excited I am for you! Its crazy how much you can love such a tiny person. Enjoy these last weeks...I can't wait to meet little Ellie!
Oh and its COMPLETELY normal to be excited to squish their little thighs! I'm still waiting for my little guy to put some meat on his so I can! And you just wait until you're kissing them thousands (literally) of times a day...its the best!
Skimmie,
Your post made me cry! That was so sweet and a good reminder to me (as I'm right in the middle of doing a million things wrong and hoping that I can figure out how to be a good mom before my kids grow up and leave the house!) that God knows my abilities and limits and TRUSTS me with these incredible little spirits. So even with all my shortcomings, my best is good enough to give them what they need to fulfill their potential here on this earth.
I love you Kimmie!
PS. Cute belly! Let me know if you're not coming down and I'll send you a package of clothes.
wow. i have the best roomie in the world!!! you are amazing kim, and such a good example to me! you are going to be an excellent mommy--i can't wait to have our little babes so we go through all of the fun, and hard times, together :) really though, i needed to hear exactly what you said {i've been feeling the same way from time to time!}
you're great!
You will be a wonderful mom! You need to come over and squish Tanner's thighs!! I mostly love kissing and squishing his cheeks so I will save his legs for you! love you!
Ice Kim Cone, I love your positive outlook. Motherhood is definately an adventure and sometimes it's in our mistakes that our greatest moments are born. Celebrate and cherish it all. BTW it's too late, you are already a fantastic mother. Oh and I love your little belly too! Love Ra
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